Non Sensical sense :)

My hand was craving to write something, just like a crave to have chocolate or something ;). But what to write? I just wrote a blog and blabber something because I was angry. So it was easy writing when you are angry. Words and content just flow, but if it’s a crave then really difficult to think. I decided to write something which I had in my mind for a while but that needed a little research and I am certainly not in mood for doing that just to satiate my stupid crave. So I decided to just blabber something crap.

But then I thought, shouldn’t I be responsible when I write something on public forum?

Get loss.

It’s my blog, not a newspaper space and I will write whatever I feel like. And any way who read it to get annoyed by my irresponsibility :P. So I am quite free for spilling my non-senseJ.

Day after day passes, I pass many people on my way without realizing or without looking. While wandering in a park if suddenly I look up then it just astonish me, the sky , the tree, how many mundane structure which are mundane to think but if I look at them at that point of time it look wonderful as if I have never seen them. When I travel in a bus with many passengers, I rarely have the feeling that I am surrounded by people, people with different aspiration, different past and future but still the same. But when I come out of my trance and really look at someone then I get a sensation of someone like me in flesh and blood. What’s their story? I don’t try to think.

Where am I going, what’s going to happen, what’s I am missing: countless and meaningless questions like trouble me always. Life goes on but its puzzle instead of being unlocked get more tangled and difficult. Or is it really that difficult? Sometime it feels like an open book or like a normal flow of river with no puzzling complexity, just me and my very simple life. I am confuse.

Many times I feel myself very happy (apparently for no reason), I try to think of the reason, I try harder but could think none. What is it? Why I am feeling happy? Then some silly reason pop up in my mind and I just get astonish that because of this I was so happy whole day. And then I think how could a silly reason like this make me happy for whole day when sometimes even a big event cannot excites a tiny portion of me? How astonishing, how unexplainable? My life goes on…

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and then my 2 day. Will I ever stop getting excited on Friday when I know perfectly that next two day I have to spend with myself at my home and I am quite capable of wasting 48 hours with doing nothing? After Sunday again the week comes and then that also goes in puff and again my days come. My life just goes on……

Every night I expect a thrill from next day but next day goes just as mundane as previous day but I never stop expecting. Dream and expectation are glued to my life such that it never let me breathe in reality. When will I get over all those? I don’t think I will ever be, but thing is that I don’t wanna be. But I know I should be because I think I might have reached to age where dream should take a back seat and let reality creep into its place. So should I? hmmm, forget about it I don’t think I have any control on this ;) . So my life again goes on with this dream J.

Office starts with boring Monday. In my whole IT career, IT industry was never able to occupy my life, my life never revolve around this. My work is never enough to fill my time. My time is highly underutilized, so do my ability. I hardly utilize 1% of it, and funny thing is there isn’t anyone in this world that is/are stopping me to do so. But I still do not do so, and my life just goes on with my wastage…

I have never been an eloquent speaker nor an efficient writer. My grammar sucks; in whole my writing too sucks. I am completely aware of that. But whatever it is, writing comes as easily as breathing. My breathing might be wrong but it’s still essential and pleasant for me. It suits me because I don’t have to open my mouth. It suits me because I don’t have to think about person in front of me before writing, I just have to think about myself. The word that eludes me while speaking flows freely while writing. So I am quite capable of writing nonsense as I am doing nowJ. And hence my nonsense goes on…….

I think this much nonsense is quite sufficient to satisfy my craving for the moment so I’ll stop for the sake of some rare person who dare to read it ;)